It has been a little over 2 weeks since my surgery - a bilateral bunionectomy - and I will be going to back to work tomorrow.
In these weeks, I have probably watched more tv during this time than I have in the past 2 years. There is a couple of shows that I am going to miss watching like Good Day Atlanta on Fox 5 and then Good Day Xtra after that. And a guilty pleasure was the Wendy Williams Show. Then at night I would watch Chelsea Lately.
For someone who usually doesn't watch a whole lot of tv, I sure am gonna miss it when I go back to work!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Thanks
I have this conception of a blog like I have to impart some great words of widsom in it or something. But that is rare and it is usually at a time when I am not prepared to write about it in a blog. It usually just comes out and I say, "Wow, that was good. I should put it on my blog." But it is too late because I am not at my computer.
I try not to stay on the computer too much because I like to stay busy away from home. But, my idiot self decided to have surgery on both of my feet at the same time and I can't do anything but sit around and watch tv and surf the internet. It has been a week since my surgery and it is getting harder and harder to stay still. I am walking a little better now and the pain is not as great so I guess i feel like I should be doing something. But, seeing as how the doctor said he doesn't want me to drive for 5 weeks, I am stuck. It is so not like me to just sit around and do nothing.
I am staying at a good friend's house while I recuperate. Her mom has been so good to me by taking care of me. Thank you, Brenda! It has been hard to just sit back and let someone take care of me. It is just not something I am used to doing. I am so grateful though for all that she has done for me.
I try not to stay on the computer too much because I like to stay busy away from home. But, my idiot self decided to have surgery on both of my feet at the same time and I can't do anything but sit around and watch tv and surf the internet. It has been a week since my surgery and it is getting harder and harder to stay still. I am walking a little better now and the pain is not as great so I guess i feel like I should be doing something. But, seeing as how the doctor said he doesn't want me to drive for 5 weeks, I am stuck. It is so not like me to just sit around and do nothing.
I am staying at a good friend's house while I recuperate. Her mom has been so good to me by taking care of me. Thank you, Brenda! It has been hard to just sit back and let someone take care of me. It is just not something I am used to doing. I am so grateful though for all that she has done for me.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
How did I do it?
I was sitting in my office on Monday when a lady I know came in. She has been struggling to stay sober so she asked me how I have stayed clean and sober for 4 years. We had a long conversation where I listened to some of her story and told her about what has worked for me. I felt like it is important to share with others as well. So here we go...
First of all, I must remember that I can't do this on my own. I need the help of my Lord and Savior, Jesus. I have not done this on my own. And when I start thinking that is me that has done this, that is where I start to go wrong. I have to stay away from the pride of what has been done in my life. Cause it can all go away in one second. Without Jesus I am nothing!
Second, I can never forget what it was like. What it was like to feel that hopelessness and despair that made me feel like I wanted to die. What it was like waking up in the morning not knowing what happened the night before. What it was like to not be able to make it through the day without using.
Third, I must practice acceptance. Acceptance of who I am, of my past, and all the things that have happened in my life to make me who I am. I must accept that I can never, ever, under any circumstances, drink or use again. Because the minute I do, I will have lost all that I have gained- joy, love, peace, a relationship with God, and self-respect. The most important thing is my relationship with God. But, that is a topic for another blog.
Fourth, is to stay focused on myself and God. I can't worry about what other people are thinking or doing or what they have that I don't. Like Paul says in Philippians 3:13-14, "But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
Next, is staying grateful. Besides staying focused on God, I think this may be the most important tool in my recovery. When I start thinking about the things that I don't have, I have to turn that around and think about the things I do have. I am blessed beyond measure.
Lastly, I must watch my thoughts because thoughts can turn into actions. As soon as I think about taking a drink, I have to stop that thought as soon as it comes. If I start entertaining that idea in my head, it won't be too long before I am using or drinking. So when I start having thoughts I shouldn't, I try to sing. At first I didn't know the lyrics to any good, Christian songs so I started out singing "Jesus Loves Me" until I learned others. Scripture has also been a huge help to changing my thoughts. 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 says, "The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." I try to memorize different verses so I can meditate on them instead of my problems. In that way, I am doing what Romans 12:2 says, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing, and perfect will."
These are just some of the ways I have been able to maintain my sobriety. They are not in any particular order.
First of all, I must remember that I can't do this on my own. I need the help of my Lord and Savior, Jesus. I have not done this on my own. And when I start thinking that is me that has done this, that is where I start to go wrong. I have to stay away from the pride of what has been done in my life. Cause it can all go away in one second. Without Jesus I am nothing!
Second, I can never forget what it was like. What it was like to feel that hopelessness and despair that made me feel like I wanted to die. What it was like waking up in the morning not knowing what happened the night before. What it was like to not be able to make it through the day without using.
Third, I must practice acceptance. Acceptance of who I am, of my past, and all the things that have happened in my life to make me who I am. I must accept that I can never, ever, under any circumstances, drink or use again. Because the minute I do, I will have lost all that I have gained- joy, love, peace, a relationship with God, and self-respect. The most important thing is my relationship with God. But, that is a topic for another blog.
Fourth, is to stay focused on myself and God. I can't worry about what other people are thinking or doing or what they have that I don't. Like Paul says in Philippians 3:13-14, "But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
Next, is staying grateful. Besides staying focused on God, I think this may be the most important tool in my recovery. When I start thinking about the things that I don't have, I have to turn that around and think about the things I do have. I am blessed beyond measure.
Lastly, I must watch my thoughts because thoughts can turn into actions. As soon as I think about taking a drink, I have to stop that thought as soon as it comes. If I start entertaining that idea in my head, it won't be too long before I am using or drinking. So when I start having thoughts I shouldn't, I try to sing. At first I didn't know the lyrics to any good, Christian songs so I started out singing "Jesus Loves Me" until I learned others. Scripture has also been a huge help to changing my thoughts. 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 says, "The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." I try to memorize different verses so I can meditate on them instead of my problems. In that way, I am doing what Romans 12:2 says, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing, and perfect will."
These are just some of the ways I have been able to maintain my sobriety. They are not in any particular order.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
That special moment
Do you ever experience those times where the moment just seems so right and perfect that you don't want it to end? Well, it happened for me last night at the Hillsong United concert that I went to at the Verizon Wireless Ampitheatre in Alpharetta.
I started not to go because I ended up going by myself and I probably shouldn't have spent the money. But, I didn't let that stop me. I had a lawn seat but as I was sitting there waiting for the concert to start this guy came up to me and said he was going to sit on the lawn but he had a ticket for a seat. He asked me if I wanted it. I couldn't believe it. I was just thinking how I wish I had a seat and here comes this guy with a ticket for a seat! God is so amazing and so good to me! And to think, if I been with other people that never would have happened! It was a good seat too. It was row G of the orchestra section. So, I was very close to the front. And if you know me, you know how much I love to be at the front at shows.
But, that's not the point of this blog. What I want to try to tell you about are the moments where everything is perfect and you never want that moment to end. I experienced that last night. It was amazing. As I was standing there, listening to the music and hearing the sound of voices raised as one in praise of our Savior, Jesus, it felt like it was just me and God alone there. It was the special moment when all felt right in the world. I imagine that is what it will be like when we are in heaven. I don't know about you, but I can't wait for that day!
I started not to go because I ended up going by myself and I probably shouldn't have spent the money. But, I didn't let that stop me. I had a lawn seat but as I was sitting there waiting for the concert to start this guy came up to me and said he was going to sit on the lawn but he had a ticket for a seat. He asked me if I wanted it. I couldn't believe it. I was just thinking how I wish I had a seat and here comes this guy with a ticket for a seat! God is so amazing and so good to me! And to think, if I been with other people that never would have happened! It was a good seat too. It was row G of the orchestra section. So, I was very close to the front. And if you know me, you know how much I love to be at the front at shows.
But, that's not the point of this blog. What I want to try to tell you about are the moments where everything is perfect and you never want that moment to end. I experienced that last night. It was amazing. As I was standing there, listening to the music and hearing the sound of voices raised as one in praise of our Savior, Jesus, it felt like it was just me and God alone there. It was the special moment when all felt right in the world. I imagine that is what it will be like when we are in heaven. I don't know about you, but I can't wait for that day!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
the first
This is my first blog! I don't have a whole lot to say. Well, maybe I have a lot to say but sometimes it's hard to write it down. So who knows how this will turn out. It could be stupid or it could be the best blog ever. Haha. That's doubtful! We'll just have to wait and see....
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